Laura Prepon is opening up about her and her husband’s determination to terminate their second being pregnant, one yr after welcoming daughter Ella in 2017.

The “Orange Is the New Black” star made the revelation in her forthcoming ebook “You & I As Moms,” excerpted by PEOPLE. She defined that she and Ben Foster realized one thing was fallacious once they went for a sonogram at 16 weeks.

An echocardiogram confirmed there was a cystic hygroma.

“Our neonatal specialist informed us the mind was not rising and the bones weren’t rising,” wrote Prepon. “We had been informed the being pregnant wouldn’t go to full time period and that my physique was in danger carrying any longer.”

Ben held me as I cried. We needed to terminate the being pregnant,” she continued. “To get to the second trimester after which be informed this terrible information, I felt like a failure.”

Having suffered from bulimia in her youth, Prepon mentioned she was “scared that by some means the abuse I put my physique by might have been a part of the rationale issues went fallacious.” Medical doctors, nonetheless, assured her that wasn’t the case. Nonetheless, “I felt like my physique had failed and failed having one other child,” she mentioned, “The entire cycle of what’s fallacious with my physique got here again.”

After praising her husband’s assist, Prepon mentioned she was “ecstatic” to be taught she was pregnant once more in 2019. The couple welcomed a son, whose identify has not been revealed, in February.

Of their child journey as an entire, the actress mentioned what they’ve gone by has “made me so grateful for the blessing we now have now.” She added, “It put into perspective what a blessing it’s to have a wholesome baby.”